SEX ADDICT, AN INTIMACY DISORDER

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <h3 style="text-align: left;"> <br />There's something about #sex addiction that not only raises eyebrows but also furrows them. "So what?," people tend to say about a supposed sex addict. "Can't he just control himself?<img height="132" src="https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfa1/v/t1.0-9/996130_776083299172226_212012703140293177_n.jpg?oh=26dc60a99183bf2276da389b9caeb5c2&oe=55FE615B" width="200" /></h3> <h3 style="text-align: left;"> "The recently released movie "Thanks for Sharing" frames the subject accordingly. When Gwyneth Paltrow's character learns her beau, played by Mark Ruffalo, is a recovering sex addict, she voices the predictable doubt and bewilderment: "Isn't that something that guys just say when they get caught cheating?"</h3> <div> <br /></div> <h3 style="text-align: left;"> http://datakiss.blogspot.com/p/humans.html</h3> <h3 style="text-align: left;"> <br />Judging by the characters portrayed in this film, no.<br />Addiction is the failure to rein in behavior that threatens someone's life and everything dear to it. "Thanks for Sharing" depicts just that through the experiences of four addicts, who endure heartbreak, turmoil and trauma as they coax each other on the bumpy path toward sobriety. One character struggles to transition from an ascetic, sex-free recovery to one that includes a relationship. Another, court-ordered to attend a recovery program, soothes himself in cycles of porn watching and binge eating, and ultimately loses his dream job as a physician after getting caught trying to record a video beneath his boss' skirt.<br />The film gets it right, and also reflects what sex addiction is really about – "an underlying intimacy disorder," says Robert Weiss, founder of The Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles. The characters display "the struggles [sex addicts] have around plain old intimacy, being vulnerable, being real, telling the truth," he says, adding that "people that have these kinds of issues don't just struggle in one way. They struggle in multiple ways."<br />While there may be more talk of sex addiction these days – with the term bandied about amid the slew of sex scandals that have riveted national media – sex addiction remains deeply misunderstood, experts say. "We don't have Betty Fords for this issue," says Weiss, explaining that until the first lady put a public face on the problem of alcohol addiction in the early '80s, alcoholics were considered bums.</h3> <h3 style="text-align: left;"> <br />When</h3> <h3 style="text-align: left;">  it</h3> <h3 style="text-align: left;">  comes</h3> <h3 style="text-align: left;">  to</h3> <h3 style="text-align: left;"> process addictions such as food, gambling, sex and spending, Weiss says society has "a lot of moral judgement about those people – much like we did around drugs and alcohol 30 years ago."<br />Like other addictions, this one is fueled by anxiety, depression or other deep-seeded emotional vulnerability – not by reason and rationale. In 85 to 90 percent of cases, the addict has suffered some kind of abuse, says Jill Bley, a Cincinnati-based clinical psychologist and sex therapist. Consequently, treating the addiction requires identifying and dealing with the trauma.<br />While the addiction may take various forms – from compulsive masturbation to voyeurism to victimizing another  person– the disorder is classified as such when it interferes with healthy functioning. As a result, sex – ostensibly, the ultimate act of connection – becomes a way of avoiding intimacy.<br />"Sex addicts are looking for controllable sources of getting themselves fed emotionally," Weiss says. Real intimacy requires risk, vulnerability and being loved for who you are. Sex addicts, however, may struggle with self-esteem or narcissism, and avoids the self-disclosure and authenticity that would lead to that, he explains.<br />According to Weiss, about 5 to 8 percent of the population are sex addicts, one-third of whom are women. As stigmatized as the issue is, it's even more so for women, who are less inclined to get help, he says.</h3> <h4 style="text-align: left;"> Treatment typically begins with a 30-day period of abstinence. Without the coping mechanism of sex, the addict becomes emotionally ready for therapy, which is "when the real work begins," Weiss says. Ultimately, individual therapy is followed by couple's counseling, if and when the addict is involved with a romantic partner, to help the addict develop a healthy intimate relationship.</h4> <div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxlsE2F_xCpjlr0vmOjuGR6G67H1WrftGc7trIxTf4nSIWTFRiDrBrw3P5u90nU-xxw1c21uVBapO7Y4Hd0YgJw0BzP7slxy0fNtZfPugMcsHPyCvPhkiLJPIjImIQJ0-dVq8YVBLZBihR/s1600/Mans-Mind.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxlsE2F_xCpjlr0vmOjuGR6G67H1WrftGc7trIxTf4nSIWTFRiDrBrw3P5u90nU-xxw1c21uVBapO7Y4Hd0YgJw0BzP7slxy0fNtZfPugMcsHPyCvPhkiLJPIjImIQJ0-dVq8YVBLZBihR/s320/Mans-Mind.jpg" width="212" /></a></div> <h4 style="text-align: left;"> <b><span style="background: white; color: #141823; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Therapists try to teach intimacy on every level – intellectually, emotionally, spiritually and sexually – with one person, Bley says. "That's hard for all of us, but it's really hard for people with an intimacy problem." And yet, it works. "When they learn that, and really get it, it's kind of beautiful to watch," she says. "It's a real transition, and their partner feels it." As with any addict, the first step for sex addicts to get healthy is realizing they need help. After reaching that milestone, it's critical to get help as soon as possible, Bley says. <i>"Really look at yourself, try hard to overcome your personal denial before some tragedy happens in your life that is threatening to ruin you."</i> One way to determine if you have a problem is to go cold turkey, so to speak. For example, if watching porn feels compulsive, eliminate it from your life for 30 days. If you can do that, without replacing it with another pleasurable obsession such as food or alcohol, then you're in control. But if not, seek out a 12-step program and a therapist trained in addiction, preferably sexual addiction, who understands the vulnerabilities at the root of the disorder, Weiss says. "We're designed to connect. We're designed to be in community. We pair bond," he says. Sex addicts "either don't know how, or they're too frightened.”</span></b><o:p> </o:p></h4> </div> <div> <o:p>http://datakiss.blogspot.com/p/ebola-control-measures.html</o:p></div> </div>

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SEX ADDICT, AN INTIMACY DISORDER

There's something about #sex addiction that not only raises eyebrows but also furrows them. "So what?," people tend to say about a supposed sex addict. "Can't he just control himself? "The recently r…

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RAPE CASES

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"> <br /><div style="border-bottom: solid #4F81BD 1.0pt; border: none; mso-border-bottom-themecolor: accent1; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0in 0in 2.0pt 0in;"> <h3 style="text-align: left;"> <o:p> </o:p>The state of #sexual violence appears to be on the increase in our thirsty society on every passing day and this is quite alarming, many record of sexual related violence regale in pages of newspapers and the electronic media almost daily within us and all over the world. Sexual violence could be described as any act of violence whish victim is the opposite sex and has connection to sex; it’s a crime with ride range of offences, including a competed non-consensus sex act rape, an attempted non-consensus  sex act, abusive sexual contact including; unwanted touching and non-contact sexual abuse like: pretend likeness and verbal sexual harassment.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyqp9qS8WccjJcxfINLii-N25ss5qGsTxKR5v-an4Nb6ZFXfwXWLCEFYpmJUL6yLzakvsJX22TfIcVLUY4ZmaIkuusHkqUDItzwV-LWGbXYn5gWrUtdjUpeizekAhHi1kOPcqerQ5l9s-a/s1600/datakisslogo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyqp9qS8WccjJcxfINLii-N25ss5qGsTxKR5v-an4Nb6ZFXfwXWLCEFYpmJUL6yLzakvsJX22TfIcVLUY4ZmaIkuusHkqUDItzwV-LWGbXYn5gWrUtdjUpeizekAhHi1kOPcqerQ5l9s-a/s200/datakisslogo.JPG" width="200" /></a></div> <br /><o:p> </o:p></h3> </div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Last week in Nigeria Senate approves life sentence for rape, 10 years for incest in Abuja. -The News-<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">(HENCEFORTH, anybody found guilty of rape, child sex tourism or deliberate passage of HIV/AIDS to innocent citizens, and other sexual offences, will face life imprisonment.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">This was contained in the Sexual Offences Bill sponsored by Senator Chris Anyanwu, which was passed into law yesterday by the Senate.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">The bill, among others, prescribes life imprisonment for gang rape, 10 years for incest, another 10 years imprisonment for child pornography or more and a fine of N2 million as well as 14 years jail term for sexual offences.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Presenting the report in the chamber yesterday, Chairman of the Committee on Judiciary, Human Rights and Legal Matters, Umaru Dahiru, said the bill seeks to redefine and consolidate existing laws on sexual offences.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Sponsor of the bill and Chairman, Senate Committee on Defence, Navy, Senator Anyanwu who represents Imo East, expressed happiness on the passage of the bill, which had been pending in the Senate since 2013.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Senator Anyanwu said the Sexual Offences law “seeks to make a comprehensive legislation on sexual offences by criminalizing certain acts such as sexual tourism, child pornography and cultural and religious sexual offences in our criminal jurisprudence.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">For witnesses, too<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">“The new law also provides for effective witness protection programmed to protect victims and witnesses in trial for sexual offences.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">“It also provides for compulsory documentation, supervision of sexual offenders and medical treatment for victims, which is in line with the global trend and finally, and most importantly, it provides for adequate and stringent punishments to perpetrators.”<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">The new sexual offences law also criminalizes people who deliberately lace drinks with drugs to sexually abuse victims, prostitution of persons with mental disabilities, among others).<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;">          </span>Research has shown that one (1) in every four (4) women may have experience sexual violence by intimate partner and up to one-third 1/3 of adolescent girl report their first sexual experience as being forced. Issues are bound where adolescence are forced to have sex, some go into it without understanding the implications.<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;"><!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" o:spt="75" o:preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f"> <v:stroke joinstyle="miter"/> <v:formulas> <v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"/> <v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"/> <v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"/> <v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"/> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"/> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"/> <v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"/> <v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"/> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"/> <v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"/> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"/> <v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"/> </v:formulas> <v:path o:extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect"/> <o:lock v:ext="edit" aspectratio="t"/> </v:shapetype><v:shape id="Picture_x0020_0" o:spid="_x0000_i1026" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="datakisslogo.JPG" style='width:291.75pt;height:216.75pt;visibility:visible; mso-wrap-style:square'> <v:imagedata src="file:///C:\Users\francis\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.jpg" o:title="datakisslogo"/> </v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]--></span><o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Take the case of 28 years old boy forcing a girl of 11 years or raping her to thirst or a father having canal knowledge of his daughter in primary 5 for instance.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;">          </span>There are thousands of such cases either reported or left unpublished and yet people are pretending all is well with the society. Sometimes, the law of the land appears helpless as some of this happens right under it nose and yet nothing could be done to remedy the situation, allowing the culprit walk away freely. As these inopportune incidences occur, most times its difficult to properly place the blame on who seduces each other in the act while, some blame it on dressing code the young ones, who exposes their vital endowment to the hungry public. Others say its lack of self-discipline in the part of the men who easily fall prey. Which ever way the blame travels, one thing stands clear that sexual violence have profound impact on the physical & mental health of the victim. This impact or mental health can be as serious as the physical impact and can be long lasting which sometimes may result in suicide.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;">          </span>Sexual violence can also affect the societal wellbeing of the victim which may result in stigmatization in some cases the victim may be ostracized by their families and others. At times, those victims are covered by the perpetrators through the underlined purpose thus frequently express personal dominance over the person assaulted.<span style="mso-no-proof: yes;"><!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shape id="Picture_x0020_1" o:spid="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="Pregnant loading.jpg" style='width:151.5pt; height:166.5pt;visibility:visible;mso-wrap-style:square'> <v:imagedata src="file:///C:\Users\francis\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image003.jpg" o:title="Pregnant loading"/> </v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]--></span><o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">It has a notice tag, sometimes people who coarse their spouse onto sexual act believe that their action alleged payment because they are married. This is contestable but what matters is tugged determination to reduce to it barest minimum, the rate of sexual abuse in the society.</span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8YSjPy-YZjGr90P4BBLA0GoSKC6p8sqjSZVI-J06rkZnz6rDYPDVGURRhCU6NmKjTzMCXEEcvpuGev-Ppj4e6QS35NNytjlPr2_isQ-G8Vs9LpA-_L1qy7oWsLFwi2U7Zz0jpa0iW8ItG/s1600/Light+up+my+wall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8YSjPy-YZjGr90P4BBLA0GoSKC6p8sqjSZVI-J06rkZnz6rDYPDVGURRhCU6NmKjTzMCXEEcvpuGev-Ppj4e6QS35NNytjlPr2_isQ-G8Vs9LpA-_L1qy7oWsLFwi2U7Zz0jpa0iW8ItG/s200/Light+up+my+wall.jpg" width="200" /></a></div> <o:p></o:p><br /> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;">          </span>Accordingly, it behest parent, clergy, non-governmental organizations, civil societies, community based organizations to pick up the challenges and retain the society to the paths of restitution for the good of all by cubing sexual related violence in our society.<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Published by ettefreeguy<o:p></o:p></span></div> <w:sdt contentlocked="t" id="89512093" sdtgroup="t"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><w:sdtpr></w:sdtpr><w:sdt docpart="F731EBD03EF44E72A58DBAB3D2362EE0" id="89512082" storeitemid="X_8159EF0B-AFBB-4E98-A0F4-72A514636A32" text="t" title="Post Title" xpath="/ns0:BlogPostInfo/ns0:PostTitle"></w:sdt></span> </w:sdt> <br /> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">Fb.com/Datakiss   https://datakiss.blogspot.com    </span></div> </div>

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RAPE CASES

 The state of #sexual violence appears to be on the increase in our thirsty society on every passing day and this is quite alarming, many record of sexual related violence regale in pages of newspa…

francisjohnsonofficial@Gmail.com